June 15, 2025

251. Raising your child to know Jesus

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251. Raising your child to know Jesus

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In this episode of the Called by God podcast, hosts Nic and RJ Dexter talked about responsibilities of fatherhood, particularly in guiding children towards a relationship with Jesus. They share personal stories of their own upbringings, the challenges of modern parenting, and the importance of living out one's faith as an example for children. The conversation emphasizes the need for vulnerability, the significance of speaking life into children, and practical tips for fathers to instill spiritual values in their families.

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Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Fatherhood Discussion

04:23 - Becoming a Father: First Reactions

08:05 - Nick's Testimony: Past Mistakes

15:16 - Joy of Fatherhood and Child Development

19:21 - Love Without Constraint

24:51 - Blended Families and Equal Love

31:41 - God's Ultimate Example of Fatherhood

Transcript
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00:00:12.992 --> 00:00:15.093
welcome to the call by god podcast.

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I'm your host uh brother nick, and I'm here with he's not a special guest, you're like a friend family to the show brother daryl daryl smith.

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Daryl smith and honored to be here.

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Yes, yes so we're just gonna get right into.

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Let's get, because it's been a while since you've been on the show and, uh, you know, whenever you get on the show it's always gonna be powerful, because you're a true man of god.

00:00:37.860 --> 00:00:39.982
You're a true man of god, y'all.

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He know the deep things of god so that's a really nice way of him saying I talk too much.

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But, on a serious note, we know it's like Father's Day month and I wanted to I don't know, like I was on my way Quick story.

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You know I say these quick stories sometimes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm driving on the road and I'm like man, you know, I be seeing on social media like how sisters they always talking to each other and how always they get their breakthroughs, and I said, but man, we build these walls.

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Oh yeah, we don't, we don't chat like that.

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Especially.

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I wanted to take an aim at fathers, especially men, that that you know, there are a lot of good men.

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I I believe that they're men that genuinely love their children, but there's also a lot of debbies.

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But I'm not talking to the debbies.

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Maybe some of this might bring awareness to some of the dudes that not doing their part.

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But I said, man, how cool it would be to uh create an episode about fatherhood, for sure, yeah, so so that's kind of like where we're at now.

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And you know I had to do a little research because I said, man, what is a father?

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you know, nowadays, you, nowadays, you gotta, you gotta look in the dictionary about what a meaning is, because you know all this.

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You know, everybody's educated now all this stuff is going on.

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So I looked at a webster dictionary and it says a father is simply a male parent.

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You know, nowadays you got like same-sex parents.

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That's what I meant.

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Like sometimes you gotta really look up the definition of a thing for sure, before you actually put it out there yeah so when I, when we talk about a father, I'm not talking about the rainbow people listen, we equivocally amen we talking about a father?

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yes, sir and then when I said like wow, a male parent, and that's what led me to look at another, a bible verse, I'm like man, what do we first see on father?

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And it's in Genesis, chapter two.

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Come on Verse 24,.

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It says therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother house and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

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Yeah, yeah, I'm like wow, that's very interesting, like how that's the first part where you see a father.

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We know that God is the ultimate father.

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Capital F.

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Right.

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I'm talking about little F fathers, for sure F.

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I'm talking about little F fathers.

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I'm like man.

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What did fatherhood?

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So God says back in Genesis 2, a male should leave his mother and father house.

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So that took me.

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That's the covenant of marriage.

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At one point, the son will leave and cleave to his wife.

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So that's what I wanted to talk about when you found out that you was going to be a dad.

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I want to hear your thought process behind that.

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Well, this one is a good one for me, nick.

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As you know, we've shared this story countless times with each other because I happened to be blessed to be a father before brother Nick, and I can remember sharing with him the joy of becoming a dad right, becoming a father.

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But I'll tell you of becoming a dad, right, becoming a father.

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But I'll tell you tremendous amount of joy when I found out that I was becoming a father.

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Excitement, but then also a little bit of anxiety, because you come face to face with you know, what does it really mean to be a father?

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Yeah, right, and you know.

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Thank God, I didn't have any issues with knowing whether or not I was a male or not, but you know things like being able to provide and to protect.

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You know and to teach, you know, instill.

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Am I really ready for this, especially in a world where you know the idea of a father, the concept of a father, and you know what a father is, who he is and what he does, gets lost, right?

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We don't have many examples of what a father is supposed to be, what a father is supposed to do.

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So I was feeling a myriad of you know feelings, yeah, but for the most part positive, right.

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And it took me, obviously, to the scriptures and you know, I started to do a, a little study and I and I have to tell you one of the things that just stood me to be what he is he gives me the blessing and the opportunity to be a father, right, right.

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And when you look at God, the father, he's the source.

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All life comes from him, everything comes from him, everything is dependent upon him, right.

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And so here it is me being a father.

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I have to step into that role and I think a lot of times fathers you know a lot of us men we don't necessarily understand that, we weren't shown that, we weren't taught that, didn't see it, but I now need to step into that role.

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So, this son, this daughter that God has blessed me with, you know, when they look at me, do they see me as the source, you know, in their lives, and what I mean by that is, you know, me stepping into that role of being a father.

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God is, god is the ultimate.

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God is the ultimate source but?

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But I need to make sure that I am in position to be the source for my son, for my children, to be the provider for my children.

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You get what I'm saying, and and that that tends to get a little tough in the world that we live in today, right, where you have systems and things in play that push against that.

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Yeah, I like that you coming from.

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Obviously, I believe you had a strong foundation growing up with a dad.

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I'm sure that played a key role in preparing you for fatherhood.

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Yes, because your dad, he raised you guys away.

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You know he was man of God.

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Yes, and so for me it was a little bit different.

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So I know the question I pose.

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You know how did it feel, you know, first time, hearing that I became a father?

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Well, let me go way back before I became a Christian, and, although I'm ashamed of what I'm about to say, but thank God for deliverance, but I just want to be open to somebody that's not spiritually inclined or somebody that's not in the church, I wanted this episode to be relevant to them as well.

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And I remember, before I obeyed the gospel many years ago, when I was out there partying, I've gotten different women pregnant and I will never forget when I met this girl and then she was like hey, you know I want to talk to you about something, what you want to talk to me about.

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You know you young, you're in your twenties, you know you're not thinking about fatherhood like that, especially like if you was raised in an environment without a dad.

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Yeah, so mom had to play mommy and daddy, but a mom can't really teach a young man how to be a man, right.

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So then you get the streets.

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You know, when you step out in the street you got older men that's telling you hey, man, you know you can't settle for one girl, so it's.

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It's always.

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That's that cycle.

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So I will never forget this.

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When this girl told me she's like, I won't let you know I'm pregnant I'm like it wasn't excitement, right, it was like abortion.

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Yeah.

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So this is a real and I'm sure this is something that's ongoing where a woman will tell a young man or even an older man like, hey, you know I'm expecting.

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Sure, this is what the dudes will tell.

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Most dudes will tell the woman Do what you got to do.

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They don't want to say that word abortion.

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Most of is not gonna say that word abortion.

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Right, but these down in their heart, like man, do what you gotta do, because what we think about, like child support man, I'm gonna be locked down to this female the responsibility of it yeah you know, being a provider, yeah, in the source, yeah, right, yeah, and, and and.

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I, you know we all come to that moment in time, yeah, and, like I said, and like you were saying there, I mean, we're in a culture right now where you know, you, you have some brothers who would just, who don't mind saying the word yeah you know, hey, get rid of the child, get rid of it.

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Yeah, you know, abort it, yeah.

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Terminate the pregnancy yeah, so yeah, for sure yeah, so that was a real thing.

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So that's the first time that happened to me and it was.

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It was the weirdest thing because this was like a real good girl.

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She had like a good thing going for herself, got a career, but her parents are like, don't mess with that dude.

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Like this dude is not, he don't got nothing going with his first self.

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So apparently they aborted the baby.

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So, um, you know, sad to say, um, in the past I ended up getting like probably five or six different women pregnant.

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I just lost count.

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Um, I'm not excited saying that, but those are things that I, you know, looking, looking now in present day, like man, like wow god, like ungodly mindset.

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I wasn't thinking properly.

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So now I'm like, hey, when people talk about abortion, I'd be like not on board that baby, keep that baby, because you know god is about life and the enemy, you know, know, we know he comes to kill, stay and destroy.

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So the first time I ever heard that, you know, a woman told me she was expecting.

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It was numerous times before I got baptized.

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And back then I was like excited because you tell your homeboy yeah, man, she got rid of the baby, she prayed it.

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You, young and dumb.

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You're not really right, but as you age you mature.

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You like I would have had like six, seven kids.

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You know what I mean.

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Like sure, my seed.

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You know what I mean, right.

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So but fast forward.

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When god delivered me, I got.

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God knocked some sense into me.

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Godly wisdom, um, yeah, god knocked some sense into me.

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Thank god for that yes, you know, and, um, when I got saved, I got married three years later and then, um, god blessed my wife and I.

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Well, we had, I had a child already, but god blessed me with two children, daughter and um, a son and man.

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The first time I like man, especially like my son.

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I started reading books, yeah, but, like you said, there's no blueprint, so it's kind of like.

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So, when you got these authors writing about fatherhood, they just pretty much talking about their experience.

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Sure, you know, but I think the best father is really what you see in scripture, which is God himself.

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I got to tell you I certainly appreciate your testimony because I believe that's going to be impactful and helpful to a lot of men who went through the same thing.

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Yeah Right, it's, you know it's.

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Sometimes it misses the mark when they hear you know a testimony like mine, because I grew up with a father and so many did not, and you know you're basically trial and error at that point.

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You are basically a product of what you see.

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You know growing up, seeing, growing up, hearing what you're exposed to you nine times out of 10, you're going to duplicate that.

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You're going to replicate that.

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I can say this and I believe this with my whole heart, and this really goes to the importance of having a father and being a father.

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If I didn't have a father in my life, I really honestly think and I think I can say this and I say this with a great deal of confidence I don't think that I would be alive.

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I think that I would either be in the grave or in somebody's jail rotting away.

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I would either be in the grave or in somebody's jail rotting away.

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I really do, and you know it's just a test.

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It's just such a great thing to hear your testimony, how God brought you out of that.

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Yeah Praise.

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God yeah.

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And I love it because you know, a lot of times, you know, we tend to hear things like that and people, especially those you know kind of quote unquote, grow up in a church, they'll kind of shy away from that and, like you know, abortion and things of that nature, and people have to understand.

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No, this is real, you know, and this happens more than people think Right, and so it's good to hear that testimony and to see how God brought you from that Right.

00:12:10.029 --> 00:12:18.217
So you told us four or five pregnancies, basically four or five could be more.

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It's been years for four or five terminations.

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Okay, but God still loved you that part and blessed you enough to have your own and you get to experience what it is and what it means to be a father.

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You can't tell me, see, that's how beautiful and that's how awesome a father is, because God is, and that's why I said in my studies it was so interesting and I still deal with it, wrestle with it, you know, meditate on it, look at it.

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I'm like this is the supreme being.

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He doesn't need anything, ontologically speaking, right, he's self-sufficient, self-sustaining.

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What's the like?

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Why are you revealing us?

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Why are you revealing yourself to us in this way as father?

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Right, I'm still wrestling with it.

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You know I'm still, you know I still I'm, I'm, I'm prayerful and you know, you know, confident that the Holy Spirit will continue to lead me down a path that brings greater understanding to that.

00:13:31.363 --> 00:13:35.854
But I'm like, why, why, why did you come to us as a father?

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Why, why do you reveal yourself as a father?

00:13:38.219 --> 00:13:41.832
So you know, I love talking about the subject becoming a father.

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But I would.

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I would say this too, doc there's women that have abortions and they never consult the guy.

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Like they, never like they, they like.

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There's women that have abortions and they never consult the guy like they never like they.

00:13:50.188 --> 00:13:52.481
They like there's women, the women that had their like.

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Some of them lost the baby, some of them had abortion in my experience, but the ones that are abortions not.

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They never consulted with me like, hey, you know, even though, like, they tell me they're pregnant, I said, hey, do what you want to do.

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Like it never said like I'm gonna do it.

00:14:04.131 --> 00:14:04.852
Do you consent?

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Is it okay for me to abort?

00:14:07.017 --> 00:14:13.379
Because there's a lot of men that's probably dealing with it even now, because a woman that abort the baby and they never told the woman to abort the baby.

00:14:13.379 --> 00:14:15.937
That's also a real thing as well.

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For sure.

00:14:16.538 --> 00:14:32.772
Yeah, that's all part of the chaos that I would say, you know, listen, abortion, that's ultimately, you know, the devils and the demons their plan, devils and the demons, their plan.

00:14:32.772 --> 00:14:52.081
Because, as you, you know, stated earlier so eloquently, god is life, that's that's, that's, that's who and what he is, he's life, he's love, he's life, all the life is sourced from him, right, and so, you know, when you think about the idea of death, or de-creation, if you will, if that makes sense, Right, first thing we see God doing is creating.

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In the beginning, god created life, right, and so what is the antithesis to that?

00:15:00.874 --> 00:15:00.994
Death?

00:15:00.994 --> 00:15:03.136
Right, and abortion falls into that.

00:15:03.136 --> 00:15:05.341
And, and you know cause, it's interesting.

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Cause, you know, I, you know, as an educator, I, you know, sometimes this, this topic, will come up with my students, right, and we'll, you know, and quite naturally, we always have, you know, we have some on both sides, whether they're for abortion, against abortion.

00:15:23.365 --> 00:15:28.722
And you know, I, just lately, I've been really getting at them to understand what really is abortion.

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Let's, let's, let's call it what it is, because sometimes we'll come up with these terms abortion, well, that sounds so medical.

00:15:35.775 --> 00:15:40.177
You kind of take away the value of it.

00:15:40.177 --> 00:15:41.399
What is it really?

00:15:41.399 --> 00:15:43.082
It's killing, it's death.

00:15:43.309 --> 00:15:49.240
I mean, if we really want to get down to the bare essence of it, what is abortion?

00:15:49.240 --> 00:15:51.705
It's killing, it's death, that's what it is Okay.

00:15:51.705 --> 00:15:59.602
But yeah, you're absolutely right, there are situations where the man, or the father in that case, was not consulted, was not told.

00:15:59.602 --> 00:16:08.280
And again, I certainly would say to that that's all part of the chaos and ultimately, spiritually speaking, from that spiritual warfare standpoint, that's what the devil and them.

00:16:08.280 --> 00:16:13.477
You know, spiritually speaking, from that spiritual warfare, warfare standpoint, yeah, that's what the devil in them, demons won't.

00:16:13.940 --> 00:16:16.475
Yeah, the men, that understands.

00:16:16.475 --> 00:16:29.398
You know what it means to be a father, or upcoming father, like you said, like when you are connected with God, and even if a man is ungodly because I believe that there are men out there, that's that's not in the church but they still love their children For sure.

00:16:29.398 --> 00:16:36.505
That's something that is hard to explain, because this being, whether or not it's a daughter or a son, came from you.

00:16:36.505 --> 00:16:38.634
Right, because we carry the seed.

00:16:38.634 --> 00:16:41.837
Yes, the only thing the woman is doing is carrying the baby.

00:16:41.837 --> 00:16:44.809
Sorry sisters, sorry women, sorry sisters.

00:16:45.054 --> 00:16:47.871
Listen, let me tell you you don't have to apologize to them.

00:16:47.871 --> 00:16:52.998
Listen, Listen, let me tell you you don't have to apologize to them, listen them, children, love they mamas, you know.

00:16:52.998 --> 00:16:54.038
Mother's Day.

00:16:54.038 --> 00:16:56.902
But you know, mother's Day, be on and popping, you know what I'm saying.

00:16:56.902 --> 00:17:02.409
They taking mama out to you know, to the finest restaurant, when.

00:17:05.980 --> 00:17:07.284
Father's Day come, we gonna die.

00:17:07.284 --> 00:17:12.852
Yeah, you know scientifically.

00:17:12.852 --> 00:17:13.593
Yeah, we carry, carry the seeds.

00:17:13.593 --> 00:17:21.954
Going back to the question, so when I heard, when my wife said, like hey, I'm expecting, it was amazing to me, like to see the, especially, as you know, you go see the ultrasound.

00:17:21.954 --> 00:17:23.739
Yeah, you know, you see that little nugget.

00:17:23.798 --> 00:17:26.172
Yes, sir see it how it evolve and grow over time.

00:17:26.172 --> 00:17:27.256
And as it continues to grow, you start to see it move.

00:17:27.256 --> 00:17:30.650
Right, it evolve and grow over time and as it continues to grow, you start to see it move.

00:17:30.650 --> 00:17:35.417
And to me it's just amazing, like I started to think about God.

00:17:35.417 --> 00:17:38.653
I know God was blessing me with a baby yes, sir, but I'm like God.

00:17:38.653 --> 00:17:42.667
How you allow another human being to birth another human being?

00:17:42.667 --> 00:17:43.009
How about that?

00:17:43.009 --> 00:17:52.137
Like there's a living being inside, yes, moving, and on top of that, you know my wife and I, we used to sing.

00:17:52.137 --> 00:17:54.008
You know, I'm not the best singer, like I'm not a good singer, I'm just making a joyful noise.

00:17:54.028 --> 00:18:10.311
I mean, obviously you were the singer as long as it's joyful but I was making a joyful noise and playing gospel songs and you could just see the movement like as though he was worshiping in there, and to me that was like a beautiful thing for me to see, at least at the time as an upcoming father, and that experience that I have.

00:18:10.412 --> 00:18:13.505
I would love for every father, upcoming father to experience that.

00:18:13.505 --> 00:18:26.978
Not doing what I did in the past, like do whatever you want to do with the baby or not, even if a sister's watching this not aborting the child, because there are some sisters that abort the child and they could never have a baby again.

00:18:26.978 --> 00:18:28.403
There's situations like that too.

00:18:28.403 --> 00:18:36.223
But that feeling that I felt in this is, and it's like once that child is birthed, the joy, yes, the love.

00:18:36.223 --> 00:18:41.531
Yes, it's hard to explain if you're, if you're not, a father, it's hard to explain that because, dude, be like man, what the dude talking about?

00:18:41.531 --> 00:18:54.635
I don't got no kids right, but when you, when that baby come out, for sure, like man, I love little man, I love my daughter for sure, that's that unconditional love, yes yes, I mean there's, there's.

00:18:54.855 --> 00:18:56.660
I'll liken it to this there's, there's.

00:18:56.660 --> 00:19:07.674
It's almost as if and so let me be careful how I'm say this it's, it's, it's love without constraint like there's.

00:19:07.674 --> 00:19:34.732
It's really hard to put into words and that's why I believe it is such a blessing, because I'll give it to you this way my son and I we've always had this thing when we were growing up, when he was able to talk, and we were always hanging out and I'm always playing with him, yeah, hugging on him, kissing on him, you know, wrestling with him, you know all that.

00:19:34.732 --> 00:19:39.644
And just take a moment, I'd be like you know, daddy loves you, right?

00:19:39.644 --> 00:19:42.455
And so we would have this thing where we go back and forth.

00:19:42.455 --> 00:19:49.922
He's like, yeah, daddy, but I love you more and I'll be like nah son dada loves you more, and so we.

00:19:49.990 --> 00:19:55.679
We had this thing where we keep going back and forth, and so we would just, like you know, just just make up stuff.

00:19:55.679 --> 00:19:59.536
He'd be like daddy, I loved you, I love you more.

00:19:59.536 --> 00:20:06.434
I've been loving you for, you know, uh, 10 years, and he wasn't even 10 yet.

00:20:06.434 --> 00:20:14.986
I'm like son, I loved you before you even formed in your mother's womb.

00:20:14.986 --> 00:20:18.259
It's like I saw you when I was young.

00:20:18.259 --> 00:20:24.233
I saw you by faith, yeah, and I had to explain to him like I saw you, so that I loves you more.

00:20:24.233 --> 00:20:27.397
He'd be like daddy, I loved you before time started.

00:20:27.397 --> 00:20:42.955
We go back and forth, forth, right, and it's such a beautiful, a wonderful thing yeah you know, and the reason I say love without constraint is because I can't even there's.

00:20:43.136 --> 00:20:52.093
It's hard for me to even fathom, to put this in mind, to process it, to compute it like there's nothing that I wouldn't do for him, do you understand?

00:20:52.093 --> 00:20:55.241
He could, god forbid, he could become the worst person on earth.

00:20:55.241 --> 00:21:00.940
He could become worse, worse than hitler, the most vile person you can think of.

00:21:00.940 --> 00:21:02.884
I still love him.

00:21:02.884 --> 00:21:04.615
I still love him because he's my son.

00:21:04.635 --> 00:21:09.394
That's your son, came from me, yeah and this is such a beautiful thing like it's.

00:21:09.394 --> 00:21:15.016
It's such an, it's such an awesome topic, and I think this kind of helps me get closer to you.

00:21:15.016 --> 00:21:17.422
Know why God will reveal himself as a father?

00:21:17.422 --> 00:21:23.383
Yeah, because I mean, it's a feeling that's indescribable and it's hard to articulate.

00:21:23.383 --> 00:21:29.500
My love has no limits when it comes to him, and I'm loving him as a father.

00:21:29.500 --> 00:21:31.211
What am I saying?

00:21:31.211 --> 00:21:34.237
I'm loving him as the source, just like God loves us as the source.

00:21:34.237 --> 00:21:40.597
I'm loving him as a provider, just as God loves us as the ultimate provider.

00:21:40.778 --> 00:21:41.480
You get what I'm saying.

00:21:41.480 --> 00:21:45.957
It's almost as if God says I will allow you to experience this.

00:21:45.957 --> 00:21:47.098
That's a blessing.

00:21:47.098 --> 00:21:49.384
You understand what I'm saying.

00:21:49.384 --> 00:21:51.833
Experience this, that's a blessing.

00:21:51.833 --> 00:21:53.215
Do you understand what I'm saying?

00:21:53.215 --> 00:21:53.596
That's a blessing.

00:21:53.596 --> 00:21:54.218
What an awesome blessing it is.

00:21:54.218 --> 00:21:56.282
God made us in his image.

00:21:56.282 --> 00:21:59.113
When I look at my son, he is in my image.

00:21:59.113 --> 00:22:03.162
When people looked at me, I was in my father's image.

00:22:03.162 --> 00:22:06.194
That's why they're like oh man, you look like your dad.

00:22:06.194 --> 00:22:13.199
They used to call my dad Pete, and so when I was born, like you, you look like your dad.

00:22:13.219 --> 00:22:20.297
They used to call my dad pete, and so when I was born they ended up calling me repeat, but that's why you get the name repeat yeah, I was wondering about that and it's like you know, it's such a wonderful thing.

00:22:20.878 --> 00:22:34.819
And that's why I said your testimony is so awesome, because, even though, because you, you know, you started out by saying you know I'm not proud to say this, right, but even with that, god says I'm going to bless you to experience what I experienced.

00:22:34.819 --> 00:22:42.347
Still, you get what I'm saying Right, right, right, what an awesome.

00:22:42.347 --> 00:22:51.868
The scripture says this you know what is man, that thou art mindful of him?

00:22:51.868 --> 00:22:53.990
Right, think about it now.

00:22:53.990 --> 00:22:56.335
I mean, and I, I don't want to, you know we, we know the biblical story, we know the reality.

00:22:56.335 --> 00:22:57.355
God created man.

00:22:57.355 --> 00:23:08.074
Man falls right, but look at what god did to redeem man, to bring man back to him.

00:23:08.074 --> 00:23:14.778
Right, that shows you and it tells you the magnitude of his love.

00:23:14.778 --> 00:23:16.380
That's limitless love.

00:23:16.380 --> 00:23:19.342
Right, and here it is.

00:23:19.342 --> 00:23:25.566
He blesses you and I and other fathers alike, to feel that, to experience that.

00:23:25.566 --> 00:23:31.210
I would die for my son, I would die for my children, and I know you would too.

00:23:31.410 --> 00:23:59.541
Oh yeah, guess what God did preaching the gospel, right yeah but, but I, but again, you know, I think it's important that we have this conversation because you know the devil and all enemies of the cross, they've been trying to take that away from us, from men, and so you'll have male factors, fathers to be who can easily just what you pregnant man, terminate that pregnancy?

00:23:59.541 --> 00:24:04.701
Yeah right, because they didn't have a father, they didn't experience this, right.

00:24:04.701 --> 00:24:06.944
So how can they know?

00:24:06.944 --> 00:24:07.685
You understand?

00:24:08.227 --> 00:24:22.249
but let me say this though, because, um, it helped me to, because you know I'll be remiss if I didn't bring this up god allowed me to experience my son, but also he also blessed me with a daughter that I love is equally as my son.

00:24:22.249 --> 00:24:29.742
Yeah, and going back, although I seen the process with my son, I didn't see that same process with my daughter.

00:24:29.742 --> 00:24:33.699
My daughter got in my life when I was like, when she was seven years old.

00:24:33.699 --> 00:24:37.483
So you know we talk about fatherhood, father, male parent.

00:24:37.483 --> 00:24:38.538
Now I'm married.

00:24:38.538 --> 00:24:42.702
Now you know her mother was a single mother at that time.

00:24:42.702 --> 00:24:43.556
I'm married.

00:24:43.556 --> 00:24:49.627
So when I married, mom became a father like he needs to be a father like right.

00:24:50.108 --> 00:24:54.903
You know, started reading books and talking to wise men in the church.

00:24:55.044 --> 00:24:56.165
Hey, you know what I mean.

00:24:56.165 --> 00:24:57.568
Like, how do I?

00:24:57.568 --> 00:24:58.096
You know what I mean?

00:24:58.096 --> 00:25:03.696
Because I went from being single yeah, think about it like I, I left my parents house late.

00:25:03.696 --> 00:25:11.030
You know all my other brothers, they had their own family, sure, and then so I was the last one in line, like, like I said, I had got a different woman pregnant.

00:25:11.030 --> 00:25:16.141
But one of the greatest fears, like man, she's not my wife like just get rid of it or they either lost the baby.

00:25:16.141 --> 00:25:19.945
But now here I am yeah, marriage.

00:25:21.347 --> 00:25:23.391
Father Right Just thrown to the fire.

00:25:23.391 --> 00:25:25.781
Yeah, like I was thrown in the fire like that.

00:25:26.174 --> 00:25:32.796
So me and her, over time we built our relationship, knowing how to father Because I wanted so.

00:25:32.796 --> 00:25:41.344
When God blessed me with her, I wanted to be that father to her that I never had, because my mother had eight children.

00:25:41.344 --> 00:25:43.201
Daddy wasn't in the home.

00:25:43.201 --> 00:25:50.643
When I seen her I said everything that I wanted my parents to do is not that they didn't want to do, is that they couldn't afford it.

00:25:50.643 --> 00:25:55.422
Sure, I said I want to do to her all the greater things in life.

00:25:55.422 --> 00:25:57.185
Number one I wanted to teach her.

00:25:57.185 --> 00:25:58.387
Well, we're going to get to that part.

00:25:59.555 --> 00:26:07.181
Teach her about a Lord, but when it comes to being there for her sitting down with her and teaching her life lessons.

00:26:07.422 --> 00:26:08.541
I wanted to be there for her.

00:26:08.541 --> 00:26:12.005
I wanted to be the person that hugged her whenever she needed a hug.

00:26:12.005 --> 00:26:16.048
I wanted to be the father that she could talk to about anything.

00:26:16.048 --> 00:26:20.811
She don't have to hold things up or talk to her friends or whatever's going on through her mind.

00:26:20.811 --> 00:26:25.998
I wanted to be there to pray with her and pray for her.

00:26:26.018 --> 00:26:33.109
As a father, early on in my marriage, I was the one that was like in the circle before we go to bed and we'll pray to let her know like, hey, I'm here for you.

00:26:33.109 --> 00:26:36.740
And that was an interesting experience and I thank God.

00:26:36.740 --> 00:26:42.471
And even to this day, like I have a wonderful relationship with her God, and even to this day, like I have a wonderful relationship with her.

00:26:42.471 --> 00:26:50.405
And it was, it's funny, interesting enough, that when my wife was pregnant with my son, at the time my wife thought that I would favor my son because he was part of me, came from me.

00:26:50.405 --> 00:26:58.248
I said Trina, you, you just don't know the heart that I have towards God, cause you know, once you're adopted into God's family, there's no favoritism.

00:26:58.268 --> 00:26:59.307
You're all equal, equal right.

00:26:59.307 --> 00:27:02.148
The first shall be last or the last shall be first right.

00:27:02.148 --> 00:27:10.873
So when it came to him, when he was born, although the love that I have for him, I had the equal amount of love for her and it's, it's still like that to this day.

00:27:10.873 --> 00:27:15.990
No favor to my wife would tell me she was like yeah, nick, you was right, you treat both in the same way.

00:27:16.653 --> 00:27:25.028
I can't even tell the difference I think that's awesome that you brought that up, because you know, dealing with the reality of our world, you know we have blended mixed families.

00:27:25.028 --> 00:27:27.682
Yes, that's becoming the norm now.

00:27:27.682 --> 00:27:34.367
Basically, yes, you know with, you know life, you know, as we say in our day and time now life be lifin'.

00:27:34.367 --> 00:27:40.742
So you have these blended families now and certainly I think that's a great point that you bring up.

00:27:40.742 --> 00:27:48.203
In terms of adoption, a lot of times you're just thrust in a situation where you know you have children.

00:27:51.409 --> 00:28:04.431
You met this woman and she's got two, you got one and, however, that's gonna work yeah you know, and there's the potential there for a whole lot of chaotic type of things to happen.

00:28:04.431 --> 00:28:09.666
You know jealousy and you know favoritism and things of that nature.

00:28:10.736 --> 00:28:18.077
And just being, you know, a Christian man, father, husband for the woman, wife, mother, things of that nature, children, siblings.

00:28:18.077 --> 00:28:19.703
You know you're trying to strive.

00:28:19.703 --> 00:28:54.575
Listen, we have to learn how to navigate through through those types of things and situations now, and the thing that I point to is the fact that you know, god had a chosen people, yeah, but then christ came and died for the world yes, sir, brought them gentiles on in yeah, yeah, yeah those other religions I've seen yeah, yeah, yeah, brought, brought everybody back, yeah, but, but again, here's why I started the way I did in terms of god revealing himself as father.

00:28:55.036 --> 00:28:59.201
Right, because ultimately we all belong to god.

00:28:59.201 --> 00:29:09.445
Right, it was just through the fall, you know, god decided okay, mankind, you keep messing up, then I will give you over to these other gods.

00:29:09.445 --> 00:29:17.584
And that's why and I know this, this ain't a, you know, a spiritual lineage class where you know I have to take you through the whole old Testament and tell you exactly what happened.

00:29:17.584 --> 00:29:20.099
But you know, I think that's good to know, good to know.

00:29:20.099 --> 00:29:24.978
God basically disowned humanity and he chose his people.

00:29:24.978 --> 00:29:28.065
That's why he goes and he finds Abraham.

00:29:28.125 --> 00:29:51.903
After the Tower of Babel event I was basically the last straw God says okay, you don't want me to be your God, then you go ahead and let the other gods have you, and so, legally you know what I mean we belong to other gods and these other gods at that time were in fellowship with God, right, and so that's why you have the Old Testament play out the way it does, because you know those other gods basically fell away.

00:29:51.923 --> 00:30:01.030
That's why you got the children of Israel fighting the Amalekites, the Canaanites and the Jebusites and all of these other nations, and I'm like, you know, wow, that's pretty interesting.

00:30:01.030 --> 00:30:03.593
God disowned humanity, yeah.

00:30:03.593 --> 00:30:08.644
Then he chose his own people through Abraham, the Hebrew nation, yeah.

00:30:08.644 --> 00:30:10.648
Israelites, right, yeah.

00:30:10.648 --> 00:30:17.439
And so now here comes God, amen and Jesus Christ.

00:30:17.439 --> 00:30:24.204
He comes on the scene and he brings us all back, and now we have spirit of adoption, right.

00:30:24.204 --> 00:30:28.646
So so we look at that and we see how God loves us.

00:30:28.646 --> 00:30:43.398
Christ didn't just die for the Jew, he died for everybody, and so now all of us are sons and daughters of God, right, and so we need to take that approach when we find ourselves in these blended, you know, family situations, yeah.

00:30:44.300 --> 00:31:02.076
That's good, cause I I really wanted to bring that up Cause, like you said, we live in a time where folks having kids you know what I mean and then you know you happen to meet a God friend woman or a God friend man and they meet and like, hey, I got two, yeah, I got three.

00:31:02.076 --> 00:31:03.238
Well, let's make it work, work now.

00:31:03.238 --> 00:31:04.381
The issue is now are you gonna show favoritism?

00:31:04.381 --> 00:31:05.261
Are you gonna buy so-and-so lunch?

00:31:05.261 --> 00:31:05.663
And you know what I?

00:31:05.682 --> 00:31:13.212
mean and listen, it's, it's, it's, uh, it's all a growing learning process yeah, right even with you know families who are not blended.

00:31:13.232 --> 00:31:20.557
You your natural biological families that's still a growing process, right, right, you know, right, like you know my seed, who came from me.

00:31:20.557 --> 00:31:22.601
That's still a growing process.

00:31:22.601 --> 00:31:29.421
I'm learning, right, right, you know, and I thank god, you know, for his patience and you know my patience with you know, we have all.

00:31:29.421 --> 00:31:32.256
We just have patience with each other, yeah, but we just got to, you know.

00:31:32.256 --> 00:31:39.295
Allow god to lead us in whatever situation we find ourselves so, uh, yeah, y'all stay tuned for the next episode.