May 18, 2025

247. Motherhood Series, Part 3

The player is loading ...
247. Motherhood Series, Part 3

Send us a text Three women share their deeply personal journeys through motherhood, discussing the influence of their own mothers, unexpected pregnancies, and how faith shaped their experiences. • Faith foundations from mothers provide blueprints for parenting approaches • Philomena's example of "unmovable, unshakable, undoubting faith to God" continues to inspire • Raw honesty about initial pregnancy reactions at different life stages • Processing pregnancy news at age 14 versus being...

Send us a text

Three women share their deeply personal journeys through motherhood, discussing the influence of their own mothers, unexpected pregnancies, and how faith shaped their experiences.

• Faith foundations from mothers provide blueprints for parenting approaches
• Philomena's example of "unmovable, unshakable, undoubting faith to God" continues to inspire
• Raw honesty about initial pregnancy reactions at different life stages
• Processing pregnancy news at age 14 versus being married
• Unexpected conception despite medical challenges
• Varying pregnancy experiences with different levels of community support
• God's redemptive grace allowing healthy children despite previous abortions
• Church community providing unexpected support for high-risk pregnancy
• The profound spiritual transitions that occur at childbirth
• Raising children "in the admonition of the Lord" after becoming a Christian


Support the show

Social Media/Follow Us:

Website: https://www.calledbygodpodcast.com/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/cbg.podcast/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CalledbyGodPod
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@calledbygodpodcast


Chapters

00:00 - Faith Lessons From Our Mothers

03:41 - First Thoughts About Pregnancy

08:48 - Comparing Pregnancy Experiences

13:42 - Support Systems During Pregnancy

18:26 - The Moment of Birth Reflections

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.179 --> 00:00:03.991
I've learned so much in that regard as far as a forged faith.

00:00:03.991 --> 00:00:16.134
But then there are components that I don't repeat, and I think sometimes it's even where I don't want to repeat it, but then I find myself because it's almost kind of innate.

00:00:16.134 --> 00:00:34.734
So but I am thankful, and I'm grateful for the faith component, because if there is nothing else that she can give me or that she's been that example of, is faith unmovable, unshakable, undoubting faith to God.

00:00:38.341 --> 00:00:44.567
So for me, if I could have imitated anyone, looking back in time, it would have been my mother, philomena.

00:00:44.567 --> 00:00:46.350
We lost.

00:00:46.350 --> 00:00:53.887
We lost her when I was seven, but just those seven years that I had my siblings and I had.

00:00:53.887 --> 00:00:58.777
It was a very loving, compassionate and caring person.

00:00:58.777 --> 00:01:00.601
She never met a stranger.

00:01:00.601 --> 00:01:03.048
She would give you the shirt off her back.

00:01:03.048 --> 00:01:05.375
She was very innovative.

00:01:05.375 --> 00:01:11.489
Sometimes I sit back and I say, god, why didn't I get her innovation For real?

00:01:11.489 --> 00:01:14.602
This lady knew how to make a dollar out of 15 cents.

00:01:14.602 --> 00:01:15.784
Are you serious?

00:01:15.784 --> 00:01:32.492
But just seeing her heart for people, it does something for me, especially becoming a Christian, it heightens it because it's like you never want to see people suffer, and that's who my mother was.

00:01:32.492 --> 00:01:36.224
She never wanted to see anyone suffer.

00:01:36.224 --> 00:01:37.888
If she could do it, she would do it.

00:01:37.888 --> 00:01:41.362
If she couldn't, she'll figure out a way on how to help you.

00:01:41.362 --> 00:01:53.867
So if I could imitate her as a mother I could imitate anyone it would be my mother, philomena, and even how she.

00:01:53.867 --> 00:01:56.951
The neighborhood kids.

00:01:56.951 --> 00:01:58.334
They love coming to our house.

00:01:58.334 --> 00:02:00.543
She took care of them, she had fun with them.

00:02:00.543 --> 00:02:03.990
She everything, she was that mom she was.

00:02:03.990 --> 00:02:07.543
She was literally the neighborhood mom, because she was also the candy lady.

00:02:07.543 --> 00:02:12.757
So so, um, yeah, she was the candy lady.

00:02:12.757 --> 00:02:14.681
So they love coming to our house.

00:02:14.681 --> 00:02:16.342
Y'all got some candy.

00:02:16.342 --> 00:02:26.596
Yeah, you got to buy it, though, but anyone that I could even I could tell anybody it would be Philomena.

00:02:28.161 --> 00:02:34.980
The second question I have for us is what was your first thought when you found out you were pregnant?

00:02:34.980 --> 00:02:36.885
I'm going to go first because I'm going to make this easy.

00:02:36.885 --> 00:02:44.266
My first thought when I found out I was pregnant at the age of 14 was oh no, it got to go.

00:02:44.266 --> 00:02:47.852
That was my first thought.

00:02:47.852 --> 00:02:48.752
Why?

00:02:48.752 --> 00:02:51.622
My daughter's dad was 10 years older than me.

00:02:51.622 --> 00:02:53.105
I was 14.

00:02:53.105 --> 00:02:55.290
I know nothing about being nobody's mama.

00:02:55.290 --> 00:02:57.842
Who in the world I don't love this man?

00:02:57.842 --> 00:02:59.366
I don't even know what love is.

00:02:59.366 --> 00:03:00.489
I'm still a kid.

00:03:00.489 --> 00:03:01.953
I'm in middle school.

00:03:01.953 --> 00:03:05.209
There's no way this is happening.

00:03:05.209 --> 00:03:07.526
That was my first thought.

00:03:07.526 --> 00:03:10.669
And then I was like okay, what are we going to do to take care of it?

00:03:10.669 --> 00:03:12.425
How are we going to take care of it?

00:03:12.425 --> 00:03:13.664
Because it needs to go.

00:03:13.664 --> 00:03:17.991
And then God said no, ma'am, I have other plans for her.

00:03:17.991 --> 00:03:21.504
I didn't know I was having her, but God had other plans.

00:03:21.504 --> 00:03:24.050
And then God's plan she's here, she's 31.

00:03:24.050 --> 00:03:26.373
And she's thriving in Dallas, texas.

00:03:26.373 --> 00:03:31.508
Next sister go ahead.

00:03:31.568 --> 00:03:33.070
Right, all right, I'll take that one.

00:03:33.070 --> 00:03:34.554
Ooh, okay.

00:03:34.554 --> 00:03:47.031
After that prayer of after the abortion, being 17 and you know your senior year, the summer before the senior year, I asked God because I went through a depression.

00:03:47.031 --> 00:03:52.647
Like Lord, if I get the opportunity, I would definitely never, ever, would do that again.

00:03:52.647 --> 00:03:55.724
That's number one.

00:03:55.844 --> 00:04:06.841
But when he blessed us with a child after our marriage, I cried, went to my mom's bedside and I cried and I told her.

00:04:06.841 --> 00:04:15.276
I said, mom, I got something to tell you and I don't know how you're going to take this.

00:04:15.276 --> 00:04:15.897
I'm pregnant.

00:04:15.897 --> 00:04:22.795
And she was like Tal, you're married, you're married.

00:04:22.795 --> 00:04:25.060
Wow.

00:04:26.084 --> 00:04:28.072
Because I was looking for the disappointment.

00:04:28.072 --> 00:04:34.035
I was looking at trying to making sure I was good with her.

00:04:34.035 --> 00:04:36.151
Did I disappoint her?

00:04:36.151 --> 00:04:42.427
The expectation, and she didn't have any on me and that was the whole thing.

00:04:42.427 --> 00:04:44.697
And I didn't realize it.

00:04:44.697 --> 00:04:49.033
Because when we found out we were pregnant, it was great, it was good to know because we've been married.

00:04:49.636 --> 00:04:52.774
But my first thought was nobody but my mama.

00:04:52.774 --> 00:05:03.220
It wasn't my husband, it wasn't my husband, it wasn't even about me, it was about my mother, because I didn't want her to see me in any other life, but her baby.

00:05:03.220 --> 00:05:18.911
And she said baby, I'm going to be right here because that's my first grandchild and to this day, about that grandson, because she only has two.

00:05:18.911 --> 00:05:20.939
He is 30, and the other grandson is 20, so it's a 10-year difference.

00:05:20.939 --> 00:05:27.913
She will not even move to the state of Texas and still as long as that grandson is still there in Kansas or Missouri, she's not moving.

00:05:28.314 --> 00:05:35.860
Until then, and I said, bless her heart and I love her for it, it because that's her ride or die.

00:05:35.860 --> 00:05:45.553
And when I say ride or die, if she calls him or he calls her, they are right there at each other's doorstep and I just love that relationship.

00:05:45.553 --> 00:05:53.370
So that's how it comes back full circle for me, and so that's why it was so important.

00:05:53.370 --> 00:05:57.776
So I'm grateful to look at her expectation, even though she didn't have any.

00:05:57.776 --> 00:06:10.095
I was grateful because I'm looking at the relationship now that they build together After my dad's gone, my brother passed away and my mom still has her other son.

00:06:10.095 --> 00:06:12.711
I can't sleep through me.

00:06:17.264 --> 00:06:22.732
That was beautiful sis, for me and I was married when I found out that I was pregnant with my son.

00:06:22.732 --> 00:06:46.559
But I was shocked, not of course because of the conception, but because I have a medical condition and then my ex also had something going on, and so I didn't think that we were going to be able to conceive right away.

00:06:46.559 --> 00:07:04.644
And so for me it was like, hey God, because what he is, so bigger than our thoughts and and our, you know, finite mindsets, and so it was a shock for me because I thought it was going to be tedious.

00:07:04.644 --> 00:07:09.524
I thought that, you know, we were going to have to go through things, you know, as far as fertility.

00:07:09.524 --> 00:07:11.767
So for me it was a little shock, but then it was.

00:07:11.767 --> 00:07:40.369
It was happiness because, of course, as a wife and as a mother, as a woman, because I've mothered so many children, but just to know that God blessed my womb and I didn't have to encounter what I thought was going to be my plight, thought was going to be my plight.

00:07:40.389 --> 00:07:42.819
I was going to ask this question but, kimmy, you answered it earlier and that was what was your pregnancy like?

00:07:42.819 --> 00:07:46.567
So we already know what your pregnancy was like with baby Daryl.

00:07:46.567 --> 00:07:49.853
But, keisha, what was your pregnancy like?

00:07:51.956 --> 00:08:08.411
My pregnancy actually, um, it was a gracious pregnancy and when I say that because I had so many people cater to me that out of the woodworks, when they see you know, when they say about that glow, you have people change that.

00:08:08.411 --> 00:08:13.312
Look when you have that glow and it's like doors open for you people.

00:08:13.312 --> 00:08:16.600
Being generous, you know being nourishing, it's like doors open for you People.

00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:20.110
Being generous, you know being nourishing is being loving my brother in law at the time.

00:08:20.110 --> 00:08:21.896
I mean, he normally don't cook, he cooked.

00:08:22.045 --> 00:08:33.304
I was like, wait a minute, lord, just all these benefits, that's what I was looking at, all the benefits, and I didn't gain any weight until like the last two months of my pregnancy.

00:08:33.304 --> 00:08:36.419
Wait, until like the last two months of my pregnancy.

00:08:36.419 --> 00:08:44.491
So it was beautiful and I'm just grateful to God that he did open up and kept my open to be able to.

00:08:44.491 --> 00:08:50.886
After what I did to it, I'm going to say that it is home for me.

00:08:50.886 --> 00:09:07.150
After what I did to myself, after I allowed doctors to mutilate me, he was still able to heal and to be able to have a beautiful and healthy pregnancy.

00:09:07.150 --> 00:09:09.222
I'll go where the God is.

00:09:11.870 --> 00:09:13.054
So I had two pregnancies.

00:09:13.054 --> 00:09:17.774
Pregnancy number one I looked like a baby doll y'all.

00:09:17.774 --> 00:09:18.416
I was cute.

00:09:18.416 --> 00:09:22.250
Okay, look, I was cute.

00:09:22.250 --> 00:09:25.634
I even had dudes talking about the I'll be your baby daddy.

00:09:25.634 --> 00:09:33.339
I had people giving me money, feeding me, all this stuff, right.

00:09:33.339 --> 00:09:37.325
And then a couple of let me see, I got pregnant with my.

00:09:37.325 --> 00:09:38.768
I was what?

00:09:38.768 --> 00:09:40.831
27?

00:09:40.831 --> 00:09:43.355
I was 27 when I got pregnant with my son.

00:09:43.355 --> 00:09:45.340
I looked like a bun ball, turkey.

00:09:45.965 --> 00:09:51.976
I gained so much weight, but that was my easiest pregnancy.

00:09:51.976 --> 00:09:54.849
Even though I gained the weight, I had no morning sickness.

00:09:54.849 --> 00:09:57.456
With my first pregnancy, with Amanda, I was sick.

00:09:57.456 --> 00:09:59.552
With my son, I wasn't.

00:09:59.552 --> 00:10:01.913
With Amanda I didn't gain much weight.

00:10:02.264 --> 00:10:03.610
With Devon I did.

00:10:03.610 --> 00:10:07.131
I love seafood.

00:10:07.131 --> 00:10:08.389
Amanda didn't care.

00:10:08.389 --> 00:10:11.615
Devon hated the smell of seafood.

00:10:11.615 --> 00:10:15.312
I was like what in the world?

00:10:15.312 --> 00:10:21.177
So the premises were like when people say it's different, it is different.

00:10:21.177 --> 00:10:23.793
Like so different.

00:10:23.793 --> 00:10:26.994
He was very particular about what I ate.

00:10:26.994 --> 00:10:30.855
If she didn't like it, no, ma'am, he didn't care.

00:10:30.855 --> 00:10:41.620
All he wanted, once I was done eating, was I need to have a bottle of chocolate milk partially frozen that was still icicle in it.

00:10:41.620 --> 00:10:44.614
That was to wash the food down.

00:10:44.614 --> 00:10:50.357
That's exactly what it was like with my pregnancies.

00:10:51.366 --> 00:10:52.913
I wouldn't change them for the world.

00:10:52.913 --> 00:10:55.655
I said all of that just to say I wouldn't change them for the world.

00:10:55.655 --> 00:11:38.418
I said all of that just to say I wouldn't change them for the world the beauty of filling life in your womb and like Keisha, I had two abortions and a self-induced miscarriage and God still blessed my womb to give birth to one more child, and I wouldn't change it for the world To be able to give life to a six foot two young man, after all of that, who's intelligent, who has wisdom that supersedes his own understanding, who loves God, wouldn't change that for the world.

00:11:38.418 --> 00:12:03.773
My daughter, as much as I, was 14 and scared and didn't want her, and we sometimes right now, because she thinks she grown and she my mama and she could talk to me any kind of way wouldn't change that for the world, because I see her, see the beauty, I see the gifts, I see the talents that God has put in both of my children.

00:12:04.346 --> 00:12:25.663
But when I think about them, I'm thankful and grateful that God blessed me with these two amazing kids, even through the fact, because he could have easily said no, since I blessed you and you decided you ain't want them, I ain't giving you no more, but that wasn't.

00:12:25.663 --> 00:12:26.905
That wasn't the case.

00:12:26.905 --> 00:12:28.691
I'm grateful for that.

00:12:28.691 --> 00:12:35.582
Did you have a lot or minimal support during your pregnancy journey?

00:12:35.582 --> 00:12:37.349
Well, keisha, you said you had a lot of support.

00:12:37.349 --> 00:12:40.879
You had a lot of support.

00:12:40.879 --> 00:12:42.365
What about you, kim?

00:12:44.326 --> 00:12:47.269
Keisha was spoiled, but rightfully so.

00:12:47.269 --> 00:12:54.432
For me, no, unfortunately I didn't get the pampering and all of that.

00:12:54.432 --> 00:13:03.855
Now, I will say, when my pregnancy turned high risk, like I said, god just just brought everybody through.

00:13:03.855 --> 00:13:20.371
Honestly, I had never been hospitalized, never stayed in the hospital, and so when they first detected my cervix was beginning to dilate prematurely, they kept me for two days and I boo-hoo cried.

00:13:20.371 --> 00:13:25.927
I cried my heart and soul out because I was so scared and didn't know what to expect.

00:13:25.927 --> 00:13:46.101
But God had placed one of the sisters from the church and she was there and it's like there was a calm coming over me and she saw me and she came in the room and she just spoke to me and reassured me and the fact that God placed her there at the point that they were admitting me just brought so much comfort.

00:13:46.101 --> 00:14:04.307
And so from like that point, god just made sure that everybody that I needed was there, be it my family, even the church family, like they didn't even really know me like that, to be honest, because I literally had gotten married in November and found out I was expecting Daryl by February.

00:14:04.307 --> 00:14:05.706
So I think that's like two months.

00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:24.092
But when God does a thing, I often say that when God does a thing because even if it didn't funnel down through the channel that I expected it God ensured that when I needed it the most, that support came through the church.

00:14:24.092 --> 00:14:26.386
I didn't have to want for nothing.

00:14:26.386 --> 00:14:29.809
They cooked and they took turns and they brought meals to the house.

00:14:29.809 --> 00:14:41.067
As soon as Preacher found out that I was in the hospital, he come walking through the door, he beat everybody to the hospital and I thank God for that.

00:14:41.067 --> 00:14:49.508
I thank God for that because I've never experienced and neither did I expect anything like that, because, like I said, they didn't know me like that, but they knew God like that.

00:14:49.508 --> 00:15:03.229
And I thank God for Christians who have that relationship with God and don't need the familiarity but will still be God in the presence of God in the lives and in situations of those who need it.

00:15:07.481 --> 00:15:11.509
So for me, with Amanda, I was very spoiled, like spoiled spoiled Because my sister.

00:15:11.509 --> 00:15:13.902
I was very spoiled, like spoiled, spoiled Because my sister.

00:15:13.902 --> 00:15:28.988
I would wake her up three in the morning, talk about something I'm craving, and she'll get up and go and cook it, and that was that, like she spoiled my daughter, amanda's godmother same thing.

00:15:28.988 --> 00:15:38.234
All I would just say, oh, I feel like having this and next thing, you know, they in the kitchen and doing this and I got it.

00:15:38.234 --> 00:15:41.842
That's all I got to say is that I want this Right.

00:15:41.842 --> 00:15:43.606
So I was grateful and thankful.

00:15:43.606 --> 00:15:44.730
She was very loved.

00:15:44.730 --> 00:15:46.881
She was truly loved when I was pregnant with her.

00:15:46.881 --> 00:15:47.943
She still is loved.

00:15:47.943 --> 00:16:01.725
Devon, my cousin my cousin because when she found out I was having a boy, she was like what you want, what you feel like eating, she always cooked whatever I wanted.

00:16:01.725 --> 00:16:08.586
His dad wasn't as attentive and my son, both of my children, are out of wedlock.

00:16:08.586 --> 00:16:39.610
I would never recommend and I will say this with every ounce of fiber of my being, I would never recommend a young woman get pregnant outside of wedlock, and even sometimes, yes, you get married and there's divorce, but it's always best to be married to have your child, because the person sometimes, depending on the man that's all I could say will be more attentive to you than himself.

00:16:39.610 --> 00:16:42.482
My son's father wasn't as attentive.

00:16:42.482 --> 00:16:45.580
As a matter of fact, he tried to have the conversation with me, talk about something.

00:16:45.580 --> 00:16:48.102
Oh, you know we can't afford this.

00:16:48.102 --> 00:16:50.186
And I was like well, we don't need you.

00:16:50.186 --> 00:16:55.351
I did it by myself with the first one, I can do it by myself with the second one, I'm good.

00:16:55.351 --> 00:17:02.428
But I just had to say that my sister and I, we were estranged from each other.

00:17:02.428 --> 00:17:06.384
But when I had him, that was a different story.

00:17:06.384 --> 00:17:08.230
And that's the next question.

00:17:08.230 --> 00:17:13.673
And that's the next question what was it?

00:17:13.673 --> 00:17:19.354
Once you gave birth?

00:17:19.354 --> 00:17:20.019
What went on in your mind?

00:17:20.019 --> 00:17:21.682
I'm going to go first.

00:17:21.682 --> 00:17:25.892
Once I gave birth to Amanda, I was in the room with the nurses.

00:17:25.892 --> 00:17:29.119
No one was there for me, not Amanda's dad.

00:17:29.119 --> 00:17:32.424
There was no one.

00:17:32.424 --> 00:17:36.874
My brother actually came after she was already out.

00:17:36.874 --> 00:17:39.583
I went into.

00:17:39.583 --> 00:17:40.424
I was in labor.

00:17:40.424 --> 00:17:42.087
That night I didn't even realize that.

00:17:42.087 --> 00:17:45.433
I thought I was having gas pains because it didn't hurt.

00:17:45.433 --> 00:17:57.208
And then I woke up in the morning, thought something and I was like oh, I think I'm in labor, told my roommate hey, I think I need to go to the hospital.

00:17:57.208 --> 00:17:57.829
I'm in labor.

00:17:57.829 --> 00:17:58.731
She was like what?

00:17:58.731 --> 00:18:05.271
They took me to a midwife and she was like no, y'all need to take us to the hospital, the baby's coming.

00:18:05.271 --> 00:18:12.574
Got there at 11.59, and she was out by like 12 something.

00:18:12.574 --> 00:18:26.986
She was like I'm making my presence known today and my brother came in and he was like wow, you couldn't wait for nobody, it wasn't me, it was her.

00:18:26.986 --> 00:18:28.568
She wanted out.

00:18:28.568 --> 00:18:38.540
So she's here, her, she wanted out.

00:18:38.540 --> 00:18:39.102
Well, she's here With Devon.

00:18:39.122 --> 00:18:46.561
When I had him, it was a whole different experience because I was a Christian and all I remember saying God, this is your child, I give him to you.

00:18:46.561 --> 00:18:53.794
His dad was in the room, of course, course, with him, because he experienced that and I didn't hear him cry.

00:18:53.794 --> 00:18:58.308
His dad was like, oh, he's just looking around trying to figure out what's going on.

00:18:58.308 --> 00:19:03.263
Like he, he was very, always very inquisitive and attentive in that way.

00:19:03.263 --> 00:19:18.847
And when they laid him on my chest and it was like wow, I did this again and I just knew I had to be a better mom to him than I was to Amanda, because now I'm a child of God.

00:19:18.847 --> 00:19:21.788
Now I have to raise him in the admonition of the Lord.

00:19:21.788 --> 00:19:31.951
I have to teach him about the Lord, do that same with his sister, because we both were members of the body, but with him just rearing him up in the Lord.

00:19:31.951 --> 00:19:36.106
So that was what went through my mind.